The Essential Sadness of Art – Words By Jeff Goins

Art – the essence of new, unique creations. Art is not meant to make us feel comfortable – it is meant to disturb us. Art is supposed to make us feel something. It is meant to leave us with a prolonged emotion…a lasting feeling that has the potential to change us forever. Art causes change. It causes us to relive old memories – some we’d like to forget and some we will always remember. It causes us to want a better life. It causes us to dream. In this article, the prolific writer, Jeff Goins, speaks about art and it’s ability to inspire change. Continue reading below if you want your daily dose of inspiration; and check out his blog as well. It’s awesome. Enjoy! 

Writing is easy. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

—Ernest Hemingway

Ever seen a movie that broke your heart? Or heard a song that shook you to your core? Have you ever experienced something so profound it called attention to a personal issue you’d rather forget? Call me crazy, but I believe this is what good art is supposed to do — disturb us.

Photo credit: menteurmenteur

The other day, I overheard a conversation between two men sitting behind me at a local cafe. And frankly, it bothered me. Here’s what they said:

“They did a really dark play… The Glass Menagerie?”

“That one by Tennessee Williams?”

“Yeah, I guess. I dunno. It was really dark.”

My soul sank. I love that play. The guy who saw it proceeded to talk about how he didn’t “get” it, and the other concurred. Both didn’t like it because of how unsettled it made them feel after watching it.

But that’s the whole point.

Pardon me while I get on my soapbox, but I take issue with the idea that comfort should be a determining factor for what makes art “good.” Making you comfortable was never the intention.

Art tells us what’s wrong with the world

Some of us are not content with the status quo. We know something in this world has gone wrong. We sense this deep in our bones, in our heart of hearts, and it bothers us.

This discontent leads to a distrust of cliches and predictable plots. Those are not enough to describe the situation in which we find ourselves. We need something real, something that sparks our imagination and addresses unresolved conflicts.

I watched Midnight in Paris again the other night, and I noticed this line I hadn’t heard before:

Life is kind of unfulfilling.

That resonated with me. How true, I thought. Part of the artist’s job is to make sense of this, to describe the lack of fulfillment we all feel.

And what better way to narrate the journey of our souls than with words and paint splotches that speak to this dissatisfaction?

Good art is messy

When you create something that doesn’t acknowledge this fact — that life is Act 2, not Act 3 — your audience knows it. They can tell when you’re being disingenuous. It feels too clean, too literal. Our souls thirst for more.

We want broken and beautiful, real and raw. Sure, we want abundant life, but we know it comes at a cost. And when you don’t illustrate that cost well — with sacrifice and toil — we don’t believe the story.

Just as God formed the earth from chaos and babies are born amidst screams and blood, art emerges from the pain of a broken world.

If it doesn’t break your heart or cause you to ache a little, then it’s not art.

Sad, but true

There is an underlying sadness in all art. It’s because humanity is not whole, but should be. We recognize something is wrong and that we can’t fix it ourselves — at least, those of us who are paying attention.

That’s why I love Tennessee Williams. And Adele. Why I resonate with the ache of Mumford and Sons and the unsettled feeling after finishing an episode of Mad Men.

All these stories and songs are trying to teach us something: We are not done yet. What a beautiful mess this life is. Beautiful and broken and begging to be redeemed. And for those who are listening, this truth resonates.

If you create or consume art, I hope you recognize this truth. I hope you remember as you catalogue your own story. I hope you embrace the fact that you are a wonderful work in progress, but still fragmented at the core.

So here’s a challenge: Do something today to remind yourself of this. That you’re not finished. There’s still healing and wholeness to happen. It’s the difference between a message that rings hollow and one that hits home.

My questions:

• Does art have an underlying theme of sadness?

• Has art, your art or the art of another, ever inspired you to change for the better? If yes, how?

Share your comments below. Don’t be scared, I’d love to hear from you. 

The 6 Best Ways To Become More Comfortable With The Skin You’re In

“The moment will arrive when you are comfortable with who you are, and what you are– bald or old or fat or poor, successful or struggling when you don’t feel the need to apologize for anything or to deny anything. To be comfortable in your own skin is the beginning of strength.” – Charles B. Handy

As a little 8 year old girl playing in the school playground, hearing yourself being called ‘fat’ and ‘chubby’ by one of your male classmates has a way of resting uncomfortably on your heart and staying there for life. That was my very first encounter with criticism & self-doubt. At such a tender age, I would never forget how uneasy and self-conscious I felt around that particular classmate & his friends. I would tense in his company, nervous about whether or not the next words out of his mouth would be directed negatively towards me. I was always on guard; and that guard has not left me till today. Maybe you’ve gone through a similar life-changing experience that you will never forget. Most of us have. As a result, we still deal with feeling comfortable with ourselves, especially in the presence of others. The reminder that someone once disapproved of us always rears its ugly head causing us to assume that maybe other people will disapprove as well. For me, the remnants of these issues were lying dormant apparently because they were forgotten until I found them again at my place of employment. I enjoy sticking to a close group of friends, but I’ve noticed some people who are so outgoing with live personalities that they’re known and liked by everyone. And sometimes I catch myself wondering, why can’t I be an influencer like that? Why can’t I be more outspoken? Why doesn’t that person talk to me? Should I look more attractive for work so people would be interested in talking to me? And I hate when I begin questioning and doubting myself like that. I am no expert. At the tender age of 22 I feel like I’m still growing and figuring myself out. But then again, who isn’t? I know that a lot of you have experienced what I’m talking about at one time or another. I can visualize the nods of agreement already. So I’ve created a list of the 6 best ways us self-conscious peeps can begin to change.

Make a list

Me? I love lists. I’m a list maker. How else am I going to keep track of things when my terrible memory bank fails me? The sole reason for making lists is so I can monitor my progress. So in this case, making a list would mean jotting down little bullet points on where I am now in terms of being comfortable in my own skin, and where I want to be. Nothing is wrong in making a list of weaknesses because all trials are there to be overcome with time, patience and a positive outlook. Once we find ourselves in self-doubt or unhappy with an aspect of ourselves, all we need is 15 minutes to write them down. Releasing them from our hearts and lightening our burdens means that we now have all the power and strength in the world to find solutions for them and achieve success in feeling more comfortable and at peace with ourselves.

Honour your body

It is so important to celebrate and own your body. There is, and always will be, one of YOU! I hate the fact that peer pressure and self-esteem issues still exist today amongst all types of people. From being the only black person, religious person, old person, foreign person, disabled person, fat person, shy person, gay person…in whatever environment you live in, is undoubtedly hard. Having negative feelings toward yourself is difficult when you realize that you aren’t the norm. Where everyone is busy trying to fit in, you stick out like a sore thumb. But here’s a thought: maybe it’s time you celebrate yourself and your uniqueness. Every day, thank your body for all that it does. And if you believe that there is a God out there, thank Him for all that you’re capable of doing as well. However, don’t forget to honor the needs of your body. Create a daily exercise regimen, maybe 30 minutes of cardio and strength training. Try running, swimming, football, dancing…whatever tickles your fancy. Right now I’m engrossed in Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred. I’m not completely shredded but I’m toned and a long long way from the ‘fat’ girl I apparently used to be in school. Eat a healthy diet as well…Junk food offers temporary satisfaction. It does not help, it only hurts and causes really bad bloating. Take long showers. Take soothing baths. Pamper yourself. Drink lots of water. Keep yourself all-round healthy, from the inside out. Prioritizing and taking care of yourself is a tried and true way to begin feeling more comfortable in your very toned, glowing, soft skin. Start making yourself feel good from today.

Maintain a healthy, positive mindset

Along with training my body to exercise and eat healthy on a daily basis, I’ve found it equally important to nurture my mind and my way of thinking. How do I do this? I journal. I must admit, I don’t journal every day; and I don’t think that it is necessary to do so either. Whenever my heart is truly burdened by some negativity, I get out my pen and pad and start scribbling. There are many online diaries that could be used, for example I use 750words to write my feelings sometimes, but for me nothing beats a pen and paper. When I write it’s as if the words are flowing from my mind through my fingers. As each letter takes shape on the white paper, creating words on the outside to reflect my inner self I feel the weight on my mind slowly dissipate. Journaling allows me to really leave things in the past instead of carrying heavy weight around with me. So if you ever find yourself feeling too weak, scared, nervous, self-conscious, awkward [insert other negative attribute here] about a problem, instead of carrying that weight around with you, get out your pad and pen, or log into your online diary and for as long as you can, unleash your brutal, unadulterated, uncensored thoughts so that you can breathe. Don’t waste your time, energy and thoughts on regrets, embarrassment or shame. Invest your time with new things that make you feel ‘oh so good’. If you love to read, read more; travel outside of your city, take up a new hobby or master an old one. I can guarantee that generating a positive attitude about yourself and your life by practicing activities that make you feel peaceful and passionate, will definitely launch you a huge step further in becoming more comfortable in your skin. And impressing other people with the skills you learned by doing new things doesn’t hurt either 😉

Maintain healthy spiritual nurturing

Instead of feeling burdened by the negativity or awkwardness that generates around you, make your spirit light! Pray daily. Meditate daily. Take 10 minutes to find peace and silence daily. Release your thoughts to the universe before you start each day. Smile more. Laugh more. Relax more. Stop thinking about worst case scenarios more. Walk taller. Speak your mind and voice your opinions loudly, firmly and unashamedly – don’t care if people disagree. Stop being so nice all the time. Be bolder. Dress up more. Hang around your true friends more. I’m definitely going to focus on walking taller, praying longer and speaking louder. Allowing our spirits to release its toxins just increases extra space for our authentic crazy selves to thrive. Who doesn’t want to relax, laugh and enjoy life more?

Stop tolerating

As inspirational author, Lisa McCourt says ‘tolerating is slow emotional suicide’. In this life, we get what we tolerate. Be it a toxic friendship, an unhappy relationship, a low-income job…the examples are endless. But if you know you feel very unhappy in a situation but still stick with it, especially if you know deep down that you have the power and strength to change it, that means you’re tolerating it. You’re accepting it as a part of your life. And that is not healthy at all. There is no reason for you to ever have to tolerate anything you don’t want to. Here are a few suggestions to help you find the freedom in rebellion:

1)      Learn to say no

2)      Stop apologizing for yourself – only say ‘sorry’ when you actually mean it

3)      Stop seeking the approval of others – as you get older, it’s important to trust your own instincts and follow the path that you know is right for you, regardless of the influence of others.

4)      Don’t pay attention to mean comments about your body

5)      Stop comparing yourself to others – every time you find yourself feeling envious towards another person, remind yourself of how unique and amazing you are and the wonderful attributes that make you so. Never allow yourself to feel like others are better than you

 Live passionately

Once the list is made, and the self-examination is complete, it’s necessary to remain totally committed. Give it your all. Throw yourself in the deep-end. Launch yourself purposefully towards becoming the confident, self-assured, positive person that you know you can be *points finger to self*. Growing and becoming more comfortable with the person that exists within means allowing your authentic self to shine through. Release that glow of beauty and uniqueness. We are all truly amazing individuals in our own rights and we should never be ashamed of that! Beauty is not dependent on the approval of others; it is dependent on the approval of yourself. And that approval is powerful.

Do you want to change? Or do you want to think about changing, whilst never getting off your behind?

Here’s to the works in progress like me…*cheers*

How Do You Handle Rivalry?

‘There are people who, on meeting a successful rival, no matter in what, are at once disposed to turn their backs on everything good in him, and to see only what is bad. There are people, on the other hand, who desire above all to find in that lucky rival the qualities by which he has outstripped them, and seek with a throbbing ache at heart only what is good’ – Tolstoy

Ok, so in the novel there is another character named Konstantin Dmitrievitch Levin. He’s a rugged country boy who loves working with his hands and doesn’t really care to associate himself with town life. Only problem is he’s fallen in love with an uptown girl…a princess in fact, named Kitty Shtcherbatsky who is the youngest sister of Darya, Stiva’s wife. Although he resides in the country he returns to Moscow in order to make an offer of marriage to Princess Shtcherbatsky.  His passion for her is unfailing, and although he doubts himself being worthy of her love he is determined to fulfil his mission of asking her hand in marriage. Unbeknownst to him, however, Kitty has another suitor by the name of Alexei Kirillovitch Vronsky – a rich, handsome, cultured, charismatic young man from the army. The two men are total contrasts. Kitty had fond childhood memories of Levin because he was once a good friend to her deceased brother, but her heart truly lied with Vronsky because of his dashing personality and impeccable social status. He made her heart flutter like butterfly wings with all of his charm and charisma.

Levin, poor fellow, subjected himself to this brutal reality when he attended one of Kitty’s mother’s evening parties quite early, in order to propose without disturbance. He was pitifully rejected and to his dismay, as he was about to silently slip away, Vronsky arrived at the social event with other guests. Intrigued by this person so loved by Kitty, he decided to stay to see what made this Vronsky guy so special. And this now brings me to the quote introduced at the beginning. Despite how hard it was to see, Levin decided to focus on all of the positive, outgoing qualities that Vronsky had, which totally overshadowed his.

I really like that quote because, in using the example of Levin’s jealousy towards Vronsky, it gave me a different perspective on how we ought to view those who make us feel bitter, resentful, jealous, envious or insecure. In the face of rivalry, its human condition to completely overlook  everything good in our ‘enemies’. We easily breed jealousy or contempt against those who are naturally better than us in some way, and although they may be the nicest most humble people in the world we just create this distasteful view of them because they essentially have the things that we want. They may be prettier/more handsome than us, make more money than us, be more successful than us, wear the clothes that we can only dream of affording, or in this case, have the love and affection of the guy/girl that we so badly wish we had for ourselves. It’s so easy to dislike or become resentful towards those who are better than us in some way.

But Levin was a real trooper in the way he handled the situation with Vronsky. Acknowledging Vronsky as the ‘winner’ of Kitty’s heart he ventured to find out why…what was so good about him? Having the opportunity to scrutinise his ‘enemy’ he realized that Vronsky was actually quite intelligent, sincere and agreeable.  He chose to view him in a positive light first. And to be honest, I realized that sometimes it’s the best way to confront a situation of competition or rivalry. Find the good in your adversary. For (random) example,

• Samsung has been scrutinising all of Apple’s goods for years…and in case you haven’t noticed, nowadays Samsung’s technological devices are so advanced that their competing neck and neck with the global technological hegemon. 
• Sports people such as footballers and tennis players focus on the strengths and tactics of their adversaries when competing against them; and by acknowledging these they’re able to defeat their opponents by creating excellent defence strategies.

So what I’m trying to say is: use rivalry to your benefit. Don’t use insecurity, jealousy or resentment to shun your rival(s). Seek your best interests. Investigate why they get what you don’t or why they have what you only dream of. If you continue to think of yourself as mistreated or betrayed you essentially give those people power over you each ruined day that you see them. Instead, turn them into what they are not – your unwanted mentor…your point of direction. If someone keeps getting As when you get Bs then learn more, study more…if someone at work is outshining you with bigger and better promotions then maybe it’s time you start taking lessons from them – be bolder, more creative, more innovative, more curious…if someone effortlessly gets the guy/girl that he/she wants and you’ve been single for forever then be more outgoing, more confident, more approachable. Don’t belittle the talents or successes of those around you; find the source of your negative feelings and seek a solution. I guarantee that once you start using rivalry to your benefit things will definitely start looking up for you.

Agree? Disagree? Don’t care? What do you think? How do you handle rivalry?

Inspiration For Today

Inspiration for Today